Yuh ass Dark

A Trini idiom that I grew up hearing a lot, which means that you'rein trouble- Yuh Ass Dark.
In the literal sense, it also means that you're in some trouble! Any one of us, despite race or age, will suffer from Black Bottom Syndrome once we have a certain level of Melanin. For some reason that I cannot figure out, a person's whole body could be one even-toned colour, but then right under the butt cheeks,at the crease by the upper thigh, is a region that is darker than the rest! This can vary from a slight difference to some serious business.

Bitches with even toned bottoms

To those of you who live in temperate climates and who do not don pum-pum shorts, you may not see why this is a problem. To us in the tropics, particularly the Caribbean, who have Carnival once a year, this issue is an annual struggle. As costume belts get tinier, and the bedazzled panty is the new short pants, we need to do something. Though there may not be any prevention method, there are coping mechanisms.

1. Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs
This is an at-home applied spray tan you can say. It's essentially body makeup with staying power. It's labelled at being water resistant. You spray into your hands and then apply to the area and let dry. Once you're not too sweaty and not rubbing up on too many people, it stays put. You get a beautifully even bum.

I bought mine at SuperPharm.

2. Carnival Stockings
Let's face it. Most of us will be rubbing up our derrieres on people. Machel said to. I can't imagine the horror of having my ass makeup rub off on someone's pants crotch. The Horror! While the verdict is still undecided on wearing Carnival tights at fetes, I won't condemn those who do. I do think they mostly belong on the road Monday and Tuesday, but if you wanna make a look out of it and wear them to a fete with something cool, go for it. They suck you in and make your legs look shapely and even toned. It is of utmost importance to get a shade that matches your skin as closely as possible. Can't find it? Go darker if you must. Never lighter.

3. Confidence
Often I resort to this. I can't see my  butt. so out of sight, of of mind. Once it's tight and toned and looking round and fab, who cares about if it's black? (right?)

Not My Butt